Part 2

Part 2

Star in the Sky

 

 

 

 

 

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,...

-        Corinne Bailey Rae, Like a Star

Chapter 1: Stepping Away

            “Miss, you need a ride?”

 Getting a ride sounded wonderful but not from a stranger, “No thanks, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure ma’am? I really don’t mind. It’s going to get dark soon and these kids won’t see you on the road if they go ghost riding.”

“Thanks, but I’m sure. I’ll be home soon.”

“Normally I would drive off and let you keep on walking but I’ll just worry about you on this road. Please let me drive you home.”

If I keep telling him no then he’ll just continue to drive along beside me, so I might as well take the ride, “Fine. I’m just six more miles up ahead.”

“Six miles? That’s the Beaumont’s Farm. It’s real nice up there.”

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to tell Daddy of your compliments.”

“Why are you walking anyway? Where are you walking from?”

“I made a run into town and on my way back home the truck started sputtering and then it just cut off. I tried to start the truck again but it wouldn’t start. So I started walking back home.”

“How far back is the truck? I’ll go take a look at it and see if I can get it started for you.”

“Four miles, but it’s okay, I’ll have Daddy go get the truck in the morning.

“No need, let’s go take a look. By the way, I’m Daryl.”

“Jenny, Jenny Beaumont.”

That was the first night that we had met. I didn’t expect him to be able to get my car running but it was an easy fix. He followed me home after he got my car started. He said he just wanted to make sure that I got home safely without any more trouble. He was sweet back then and Daddy really took a liking to him too, so much that he hired him to work in our fields. I wasn’t expecting to see Daryl again so I was surprised to learn he was working our fields.

He was hired to plow the fields and tend to the cattle but he always seemed to be doing everything but that. He was always showing up when I was in some need of assistance; it was like he had an alarm on him that went off whenever I was in trouble. I didn’t mind having him around though; it was nice knowing that I could always count on him to show up. Eventually we took a liking to one another and started going out on dates. I never regretted falling in love with him. I always cherished what we had between us.

            Daryl had his own place back in town but he was always at our farm. I didn’t mind having him around all of the time though. We were inseparable and crazy in love. We didn’t have a care in the world, as long as we had each other. After a couple of years of dating, and with Daddy’s approval, Daryl decided that he wanted to make things official between the two us and get married. I was the happiest girl in the world when he proposed to me, and I was the happiest wife in the world after we married.

            We moved shortly after we got married. Daryl didn’t want to work Daddy’s land anymore; he wanted his own great farm where he owned his own pastures and cattle. I didn’t mind leaving the farm, as long as our house had chestnut wood flooring. We looked at many houses before we found the right house. There was so much land for us to build on and although the house was a little dated it had my flooring. The house needed some work but that was an easy fix. I was just excited to start a new chapter of my life with Daryl.

            We were happy back then. I don’t know what changed between the two of us. Daryl grew distant from me and was always working. When we first met he was the sweetest guy around and cared a lot, but now he barely talks to me. I never wanted to give up on us though; I always told myself that he was just tired after a long day’s work. I thought that would all change though when I told him we were expecting our first child but I was wrong. Daryl grew even more distant and worked longer, harder hours. There were days when I wouldn’t even see him; he would leave for the pastures when the sun rose and wouldn’t be back until it was dark and all you heard outside were the crickets chirping. I didn’t understand what went wrong. I didn’t allow myself to dwell on it though; I had to focus on raising our child since he was never around.

I’m not happy anymore and I know Daryl isn’t happy anymore either. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I think it’s time that Averie and I move on. I hate to leave Daryl behind but he’s already left us behind, at least emotionally he has. Today we won’t leave though. Averie is having her birthday today and she deserves to be happy and not have to worry about anything. I can’t leave with Averie anyway. I can’t just take my child out into the world knowing that I have to find some place for her to eat and sleep at. I’ll have to go ahead of her and find some place for us to stay at and then come back for her. “Are you done yet Mama?!”

“Almost sweetheart, just one more stitch and you can put your dress on.” I always make Averie her birthday presents. When I make her gifts I can put all of my love into her present and she knows that the gift came from my heart. I’m making her a yellow sundress and a matching bonnet. “All done! Try it on.”

Averie looks lovely when she’s all dressed up in yellow. She looks like an angel with her long, blonde hair spilling from underneath as her curls dangle down her back. “Thank you Mama! I love it! Can we go outside now and watch the stars twinkle?!”

“After you’ve had your birthday dinner. Then we can have some pie as you tell your star story.” I don’t know how I’m going to leave her behind with her glassy, green eyes looking up at me. It hurts to know that I have to leave her behind with Daryl. I just hope that he actually comes around more often to take care of her and make sure that she is okay while I am gone. I promise I won’t leave her with him for too long.

“Mama? Stop daydreaming and come on, dinner is going to get cold!”

“Okay okay, here I come.”

Chapter 2: Stepping Away

            “Mama, that cloud looks like a rabbit! And that cloud looks like it’s a person’s face!

            I’m going to miss her sweet giggle. Hearing her laugh just warms my heart up. She’s oblivious to all that is going on around her; I want her to stay ignorant. I don’t want her to lose her charm and happiness because of Daryl and me. “I have to tell you a secret Averie. You have to promise not to tell, not even Daddy, okay?”

            “Okay. What’s your secret?” She looked so serious and curious at the same time.

            “Mama isn’t happy living here anymore. So I’m going to leave for a little while but I’ll be back.”

            “Where are you going?”

            “I’m not sure yet. But I’ll write to you wherever I go so that we can keep in touch.”

            “Why can’t I come with you? I don’t want to stay with Daryl.”

            “You have to stay here until I find a place for us to live, but I promise you that as soon as I do that I will come back for you. I promise. I won’t leave you here with Daryl forever. Okay?”

            I could tell from the frown on her face that she didn’t like the sound of this secret but I needed her to understand and be okay with me going. “You promise?”

            “I pinky promise cross my heart.”

            “And you’ll write to me?”

            “Every Wednesday you’ll have a letter waiting from me in the mailbox.”
            “And you’ll come back for me?”
            “And I’ll come back for you.”
            “Okay.” She said okay. She’ll be okay with me leaving knowing that I’ll be back for her. Leaving her is going to be hard but I would never leave her behind without the intentions of coming back for her. I need her to stay strong though. I really need her to understand that I’m doing this for the both of us and if there was a way for me to do this with her that I would. But I can’t.

            Bathroom. He’s awake. He’s never been the quiet type in the morning. He has to make as much noise as possible. When we first moved in together I thought it was his way of being rude and making sure that I was awake too. I then learned that he simple just doesn’t know how to move around quietly, but that’s okay. The noise is welcome this morning. 

            Dresser. He has the same routine every morning. Chair. He wakes up and goes to the bathroom. He likes to start his morning clean and fresh, even though he’s just going to come back in all dirty and sweaty. Then after his quick shower he goes to the dresser and gets dressed. He has to sit in the chair to get dressed. I can hear him walk into the kitchen. Just about all of the floors creak, there’s no way to move from room to room without anybody knowing. Constantly having to walk on your tippy toes can be annoying but I love these floors too much to have them taken up. He’s not much of a cooker but he knows how to brew a pot of coffee. I can smell his strong coffee from the kitchen. He’s coming back. He forgot his hat. Five, four, three, two, front door closes.

            It’s time to go. If I don’t leave now then I won’t get another chance to leave for a while. Usually he stays out plowing the field or tending to the cattle all day. I don’t want to risk it, he might come back to the house for lunch or a small little break. I doubt it but I’d rather be safe than sorry. I don’t want him to come back after I’m gone and question Averie about where I have gone. He’s going to be expecting dinner to be done when he comes in and will start looking for me when he doesn’t smell anything from the kitchen. I’ll leave him a note letting him know that I’ve gone. When he comes in he’s going to come straight to the bathroom to shower, so I’ll leave the note taped to the mirror. He won’t miss it. Short and sweet, he doesn’t need too many details. He just needs to know that I’m leaving and I’m not coming back.

            I have to leave without waking Averie up to say goodbye. I can’t wake her up though. If she starts crying I’m not going to be able to leave. I hate to see my happy girl upset and hurt, but I can’t just leave without saying anything to her. She looks like an angel when she sleeps, she must be having a good dream. I hope so. I made her a journal with the leftover material from her yellow sundress. I’ll write her a letter too explaining why I didn’t wake her up and tuck the letter in her journal. She will see her journal in her, it might take her a while but it will catch her eye when she says her prayer. I’ll be back for her though, as soon as I find a place our own place for us to stay at. I’m doing this for the both of us.

 I’m leaving so that I can find a better life for the both of us. I won’t be gone for long; at least I hope I won’t be gone for long.

Chapter 3: Coming Home

            I finally found a place for us that I could afford. It’s taken a couple of years but I finally found a place. Many of the places that I kept finding only had one bedroom and that wasn’t enough space for the two of us. My only option was to work until I had enough money saved up to buy something a little bigger. All day I would wait on tables and bring diners their coffee. When I wasn’t working in diners I was cleaning people’s home. Whatever I could do for work I would try. At the end of the day, I would be lucky if I made at least a hundred dollars.

            I never stopped working. My feet could be swollen, my back would be aching, and I would have cramps all over but I keep working. Writing to Averie was what kept me going. I knew that every jar that I filled up with my earnings was one bringing me one jar closer to getting Averie back. Even though I was tired and exhausted, I knew that all this hard work meant something important to me and it was all that I could.

            I wanted to write Averie and let her know that I was on my way back for her. I wanted her to know that I kept my promise: that I found a place for us to live and that any day now we would be back together. I didn’t though. Averie could never write me back because I didn’t have a return address for her. Since she couldn’t write me back I never knew if Daryl was reading her letters too. I didn’t want to tell Averie that I was on my way back and risk Daryl finding out. I told him that I was leaving him and would never come back to the farm; I needed him to believe that. I would just have to show up at the farm when Daryl wasn’t around so that I could come and leave again, but this time with Averie.

            I had to wait a couple of weeks before I went back for Averie. There was a little bit of work that needed to be done on the house and I wanted the house to be in good condition before Averie came. After the house was ready for move-in, I left to go back for Averie. Luckily the drive wouldn’t be too long. As much as I wanted to leave Daryl behind, I couldn’t bring myself to leave the state without Averie. The farthest I could go without running into Daryl if he went into town was to move up north. I often thought about living in the city but I decided to wait to make that move until Averie and I were back together. Until then, living up north was the closest I was going to get to the city life.

            I was getting real close to the farm before my car stopped working; I must have the worst luck when it comes to cars. I just drove through town and had about ten miles to go before I was back at the farm. I didn’t want to wait until the morning to go back to town for help because they’ll be working on my car all day. It was just ten miles and although it’s dark outside I’m sure I will be fine. I used to walk this road all the time when I lived here; I’ll make it back to the farm safely. Averie and I can find a way back to the car and in the morning I’ll go into town for help. It’s that simple. I’m close to the farm. I’ll just walk.

            I’m almost there. I can see the house off into the distance. The porch light always stays on.

Chapter 4: Farewells

            I just wanted to get back to my daughter. I promised her that I would come back for her. I promised her that I wouldn’t leave her with Daryl forever. I was coming back for her. I know I’ve kept her waiting for so long, but I’m here now. I’m so close to her that I could call out for her. “Oh no oh no! What have we done? Run back to that house for help! Hurry!”

            I should’ve listened. I should’ve listened to Daryl. He warned me about walking at night on these roads. He always talked about these kids ghost riding around here but I thought people grew out of that. I never understood what fun could come from dancing atop of a moving car. I had to walk though, my car stopped working again and I couldn’t keep Averie waiting anymore. I was almost with her again; I could see the house off in the distance. “Ma’am, I don’t know if you can hear me but help is on the way. My friend went to go get help, okay. Just hold on in there.”

            I missed the country nights. I missed staring up into the twinkling stars as soft breezes of wind passed over my skin. I missed listening to crickets chirping nearby as Averie told her star story. It was so peaceful. I didn’t hear the car coming, just the crickets and music off in the distance. All of a sudden the music was right in front of me. I didn’t have enough time to react before I was blinded by the bright light and stunned by the car. “What were you kids doing out here? What happened?”

            “Over here! She’s choking and there’s so much blood coming from her mouth. Please help her.” He’s here again, just like the first time. We first met on this exact road. My car stopped working and I started walking back home. Daryl drove up and insisted on driving me back home, he was worried that I would get hurt by a car coming to fast. I tried to assure him that I would be fine be he persisted.

            I need to tell him that I’m okay, that I just came for Averie, but I can’t get the words out. “Don’t try to talk, just hold on. I’m here now.” It hurts so bad, there’s pain everywhere. My head is throbbing and my eyes are so heavy. I just wanted to get back to my daughter. I was so close to her. I tried to keep my promise, I really tried.
           “No no no! Don’t go, don’t go. Help is on the way. They’re going to fix you all up okay. Just stay with me.” I didn’t think that I would miss being out here, but I do. It’s comforting to know that I can go with him by my side, given everything that has happened between us. The stars are comforting too. I hope that when Averie looks up at the stars she will find my star twinkling and tell my story. I just wanted to be with her…”